Of course, at the time, I'm pretty sure I rattled off some typical answer, but the question penetrated deep into my soul. Why do bad things have to happen? Why do people who are so undeserving have to go through so much, especially when they are already trying their best? As I am quickly able to see all of those struggling in not only the world, but also in the members, less-actives, investigators and missionaries that I love, it breaks my heart. Why does it seem like everyone is struggling and I am just over here in my happy bubble just enjoying the life of a missionary? Is this even normal?
At times I just want to cry out to my Father in Heaven and say, "Why not me? Why can't you just give me their heartaches and pains? Why can't you just give me their mountains to climb? Don't you know that I would climb their mountains for them any day without even looking back? I love them so much Father, why can't I take it away?"
These questions and questions similar to these have plagued my mind all week. I've come to know through much prayer and scripture study that we'll probably never fully know why this has to happen, however, that we can focus on what I do know and what I know I can do to help. I do know that God has a plan for each of us- a plan of happiness. I do know that this plan is customized for each of us individually to help us in our journey of becoming. I know that trials and troubles are a part of the plan for our growth. I know that if it weren't for these trials that the plan wouldn't be working. I know that God loves each of us and that he'll never give us more than we can bare. Although it's horrible to see those I love struggling, I know that God knows that it hurts. He is a aware of all of us. I am continually striving to have the faith to trust that although it still hurts, that it will eventually "all work out."
My hope is that as I continue to pray for these individuals that God will grant me the ability to have eyes to see and ears to hear to know how I can best reach out in love. Whether it is just being positive, saying hello, or letting them know that I care, I hope I can radiate Christ-like love to everyone I come in contact with. That although I can't climb their mountains for them that I can be there helping lift, encourage, motivate. That I can be their ray of sunshine amidst the clouds and be there every step of the way.